There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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