You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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