I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
