I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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