whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
