drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
