he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
