Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
