i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
