Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You're like the curious george of whores
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
