He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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