I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
