What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
