Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
