giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
