Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
