He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
