Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
