im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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