how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
