I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize