i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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