? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
