my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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