At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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