Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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