I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
