why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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