How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
