If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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