What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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