3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
