"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
