I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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