Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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