WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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