YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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