i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
