I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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