pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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