I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
