Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
