just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize