Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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