i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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