I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
