It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
