the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
