stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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