No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize