Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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