please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
