if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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