We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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