I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
