I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
