She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
