***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
