its not stalking. its research.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
