I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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