How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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