She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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