But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
