if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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