Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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