okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
