If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
