Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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