were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
