you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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