You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
